I Was a (Spiritual) Hoarder

When I started praying for cleansing and renewal, little did I realise what God would show me. Like a hoarder, I had been hanging onto things from my distant past as well as my present life.

Suddenly I saw myself as a house, the house in which I lived, and that house was crammed with garbage that attracted flies and rats. I had kept things that were no longer any use to me, thinking they were too precious to let go, but worse, I had stored up so many emotions, buried them under layers of trivia, thinking perhaps they would be useful to me eventually.

I also wondered if – like genuine hoarders – there was a sense of keeping things of my life around me to offer me some kind of protection against further hurt or disappointment.

The Lord’s Presence

As a born-again Christian of many years, I had of course invited the Lord into my “house” many years ago. However, now I felt ashamed. I was asking him to share a space full of trash. It had to go!

I wanted a clean, pure, sweet-smelling and habitable house for us both to share together, without shame or hidden feelings.

What I needed was for the Lord to send for a kind of angelic “clean-up team”, similar to the ones you see in those TV programmes. I asked God to cleanse my house of everything that hindered me, and he did!

That was a wonderful feeling!

Seeing things that way, I was able, gladly, to let go of animosity, sadness, hurt feelings and despair, and as the Lord worked in my heart and soul I repented of holding onto anything, and forgave those who had wronged me over the years.

But not only sins, and strong emotions, but bad memories, even some good memories, feelings from my long-distant past that had stopped being useful or appropriate years ago, and everything else I had been hoarding up, unwilling to lose – these all went in the metaphorical skip outside in the yard and were taken away.

The New Me

But that wasn’t the end.

John 14:23

Jesus answered and said to him, “If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word; and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our home with him”.

Now, looking at the clean new me, I wanted to invite the Lord to dwell with me anew, unashamed of what he would be seeing and experiencing and having to negotiate around. I also wanted him to cleanse my renewed life with his Holy Spirit, so that the old house would look like new.

Because, obviously, an empty “house” – such as that of a pious unbeliever – is not going to stay that way long, for:

Matthew 12:43-45

“When an unclean spirit comes out of a man, it passes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. Then it says, ‘I will return to the house I left.’ On its return, it finds the house vacant, swept clean, and put in order. Then it goes and brings with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and dwell there; and the final plight of that man is worse than the first. So will it be with this wicked generation.”

So, although in fact the Lord had never left me, I wanted to issue another formal invitation for him to dwell with me, because my life without him – even though it might be clean – would always be imperfect and useless without the presence of my Saviour.

The Next Revelation

That was when the Lord revealed yet another vital truth to me, one that has changed my life. I will share it with you.

I had somehow thought of the Lord in my “house” dwelling with me, before, as dwelling in the Inner Room, while I had the outer rooms. In the sense that my flesh life was my body and soul (feelings) and my spirit was the inner room in which my spirit was at one with his Spirit.

However, once I really thought about my attitude, I had been seeing God as a kind of “tenant” and myself as the “owner”. NO! It’s the other way round!

How come it’s taken me so many years to see this correctly?

I am “bought with a price”.  [1 Corinthians 6:20; 7:23]  I belong to the Lord. I am the daughter who is living in my Father’s dwelling, and I am the betrothed of his Son. The ownership of this human “house” is all HIS, not mine.

Suddenly everything changed!

The burdens I had been carrying, the sense of responsibility for making decisions, was shifted from me to the OWNER. Hallelujah.

It was my Father’s responsibility and joy to keep unwelcome strangers from the door, to protect and maintain this “property”, to make the decisions. The responsibility for my life shifted from off my shoulders to the One that I should have submitted to years before. What a relief.

Now I feel that not only has the trash been taken out, but the house has a new Owner and that changes everything.

4 thoughts on “I Was a (Spiritual) Hoarder

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