Attacked by the Accuser

The devil is rightly called the “accuser of the brethren” (Revelation 12:10) and his tactics are to bring believers into fear and condemnation. His works are increasing in these last days, so maybe there is something to be learned from what happened to me last night.

At around 3am I woke and wasn’t able to get back to sleep. Instead, something else happened, something that turned out – in the end – to be an education in the devil’s tactics in these last days.

I’m actually glad now that this happened, because it’s taught me something valuable.

Darkness and Accusations

So, lying there in the darkness trying to sleep, various thoughts came to my mind. (And from that moment and throughout, I believed I was just having my own thought process, turning things over in my mind. As you will see, that wasn’t true. However, let’s go back to 3am and see what happened.)

You Are a Rebel

At first I thought of a really petty little thing in which I felt I hadn’t obeyed the Lord, or at least resisted his input on the matter.

Then came condemnation, but worse, I began to meditate on the Old Testament Law – which as you know is extensive and covers every single aspect of mans’ activities so that no tiny detail is omitted.

It is of course, the Law of GOD, and it is described as good and holy, [Rom 7:12] and even Jesus said that no jot or tittle of that Law can pass away, and it cannot be dismissed as mistaken in any part. [Matthew 5:18]

Some little examples of OT law-breaking came to mind like not wearing clothing woven of two kinds of material, or not lighting a fire or carrying anything on the Sabbath. (Leviticus 19:19)

Then (remember, at this point I was convinced I was just thinking to myself) I felt this was something that, if challenged, I would be inclined to question. If put to the test would I see such laws, albeit of God, as petty, burdensome, and non-essential? What did that say about my attitude towards God, my faith in him? Now I was getting worried.

Not just that, but could I honestly say that I was prepared to accept EVERY single thing God commanded, that I would obey unquestioningly every and all aspects of what God said?

NOTE: I know I am theologically wrong here, but bear with me. This isn't a correct way of thinking, nor am I suggesting that as Christians we have to obey all the OT laws as they stand. Jesus died to remove the condemnation of the law, and to provide full compliance for us, justification, in his own blood. This I know but as I say, bear with me as I recall the thought process that was being suggested to me last night.

Because, confronted with my own attitudes, I condemned myself internally for being rebellious against God. And it grew worse.

I began to think, how rebellious am I, in truth? I was a rebel as a child, that is, resenting being told what to do if it was silly and unnecessary, and I had the attitude that “I know better”.

BUT, what if that attitude is my feeling today against God? Am I truly obedient to God or is my heart full of rebellion? How willing am I to do everything God says, in every aspect?

Is there not a secret deepdown resentment of God that he might ask me to do something I don’t like, or that (worse) I feel I “know better” even as I thought as a child?

The Fate of Rebels

The thought process escalated. I felt I had to challenge myself as to my attitude to God altogether, and admit that I COULD resist God if in some fictional latter-day scenario he demanded obedience and I was unwilling to submit. Especially if compliance meant persecution, imprisonment, torture, death (as it did for many Christians throughout the ages.)

How would I hold up in those circumstances – would I continue to follow God or would I take the easy way out?

Mentally I was now in some turmoil, trying to be perfectly honest with my thinking, but identifying a source of rebellion (or at least the potential for it) within myself.

But didn’t that mean I was in the same mind as Satan before he fell?

Rebellion of the Fallen Angels

Satan – and indeed a third of the angels with him – rebelled against the plans, desires, and activities of the Lord in Heaven, despite knowing him intimately. They also “thought they knew better” and whatever was the basis of their objection, they disagreed with the Father and as a result were cast out of Heaven, nevermore to be in fellowship with him.

Perhaps they all felt they had good reason? Perhaps their disagreement with God seemed based on reasonable grounds, seemed an acceptable dispute? Perhaps they resented being ordered to do something (whatever it was) and thought they “knew better”, in fact they probably felt entirely justified in their objections. Yet they were cast out of Heaven as a result and eternally damned!

But what if that were to be MY fate also?

Because, hadn’t I identified the same rebellion within my secret heart? How could I call myself a Christian, a child of God, if my attitude is like that of the devil himself?

If I had been Eve, would I have rejected the fruit of that tree, in obedience to the Father? OR, would I also have questioned the commands and plans of God, and reasoned that “I know better” because the fruit presents no danger in fact, but God is being unnecessarily petty??

And how therefore could I avoid the same fate as Eve, and Satan, eternal damnation and exclusion from the presence of God, if I refused (now or in the future) to go along with whatever HE, the Lord God, commanded or decided should happen?

Mistaken Doctrine

Of course, at this point you are all saying what I would say in my sane moments, and you know this is nonsense and contrary to the entire gospel… BUT…in the middle of the night when your mind is under attack and you THINK you are having this cogent thought-process, you go down a path that gets deeper and darker at every step, ending up in condemnation.

That’s what I did. Condemned myself as a rebel, and began to wonder if I was right to think I would be acceptable to him in the last days. What if I wasn’t destined for heaven at all, but would be cast out like the devil, for the same sin, rebellion?

What if God commanded something that I disagreed with; then I would be rejected from his presence as was Satan.

At this point in my mind, I was almost believing that could happen, WOULD happen! My mental/spiritual rebellion would ultimately lead to my being rejected and – by implication – accepting the reign of the Antichrist as a better alternative!!!


Yes folks, now I was – all within the space of ten minutes – at the point of believing I could be, nay WAS, going to be lost!!

How sure could I be that I would REJECT the alternative antichrist plan for mankind (and myself), judging myself already to be a rebel and disinclined to obey God in his every command?

Was my supposed Christian faith a lie, and in fact I could be going to Hell???

Darkness Falls

During this conversation in my head, and now at this critical moment, my entire relationship with God was in jeopardy and to my horror, the sense of His close presence was receding. I was losing touch with the Lord!!

THAT shook me. Only a few times in my Christian life has that sense, that enduring knowledge, of the Lord’s presence, my relationship with him, receded – to be replaced by emptiness, a cold nothingness that is SO terrifying.

It’s as if a black curtain is drawn between me and God!

Those few times in the past had been times of sin, or defiance, or even (we have to learn from this) accepting the fellowship and friendship and input of certain people who turn out to be riddled with satanic evil and heresy. That brings a darkness that shades the close fellowship with have with the Lord.

Thus at this point, identifying the same danger of losing touch with God, experiencing the same coldness and darkness, I suddenly realised I was not in fact having a thought process, I was actually under attack!

This was not ME, but a demonic accuser suggesting thoughts to me, and as long as I went on accepting the thoughts I would be in danger.

Awakened to Deception

And at that exact moment, instead of the devil’s input into my thoughts, God moved to deliver me and HIS inspiration came to my mind instead. It was this: “it’s not what you THINK in your mind that is the deciding factor, but what you BELIEVE in your heart.”

BAM! On realising the truth of that, I knew what was happening to me was all a demonic lie and I was under attack.

I sat up – angry and determined – and suddenly the heaviness, fear, self-condemnation and, yes, even the physical heaviness left me, whoosh, and I was free. Praise God. (The TRUTH shall set you free.)

I can only describe the difference this way: imagine you have headphones on but what you are hearing is so loud, so obnoxious, so troublesome, that you cannot think beyond that sound – so you throw the headphones off and suddenly you have peace and quiet again, and the disturbance is gone.

The relief is palpable.

That is what it was like. Instantly the thought process that had been so troubling, so disturbing, and feeling SO real was gone, and I had peace (as well as – thank you Lord – the sweet fellowship of God that has been my mainstay all my Christian life.)

What can we learn?

I am glad, in one way, that God allowed this attack on my thoughts to happen, because it’s demonstrated some of the devil’s tactics. Are we all going to experience these attacks as the days grow darker?

Doubts, fears, lies, condemnation – all this can FEEL so real at the time.

But it’s not what is going on in your mind that is important, it’s what you hold to in truth, in your innermost spirit, that counts, despite anything to the contrary that is suggested to you.

1 John 3: 19
And by this we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before Him. For if our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and knows all things.

7 thoughts on “Attacked by the Accuser

  1. Bless you dear Tricia – and thank you for sharing! Having been under horrendous attack from a personality cult leader I exposed nearly 4 years ago, including death threats and a promise to destroy my (God’s!) ministry, vicious lies and satanic accusations, I am thankful to The Lord for the opportunity to draw ever closer to Him and recall that Paul reminds us not to be unaware of Satan’s devices (2 Cor 2:11).
    You are a wonderful child of God – and nothing is wasted on our journey with Him!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I was going to say I’m sorry to hear about your attack, but then (I know you’ll know what I mean) I’m glad you were blessed and used enough to warrant such an attack, and it’s a mark of your obedience, and that you are truly hitting the devil where it hurts when you get these things happen in your ministry!!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yep – He uses the simple to confound (those who think they are) wise!
        It’s been horrendous – and I know you’ve had more than your fair share too – but when we remember our calling, how could we ever have thought it would be easy?!
        Keep on keeping on!
        God bless you dear Sister.


  2. What I find with middle of the night attacks is that it’s a tough time to do clear thinking. Better to praise the Lord instead of falling into the trap when we should be sleeping.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. The sense of separation from God, from His presence, I exp’d as well, when I first started my spiritual detox journey. The only way I can describe it, is saying it was like I was the last person left on the earth, and I knew I was the only one here. Utter darkness, emptiness, terror, paralyzed by an unknown fear. Impossible to describe. This went on for about 2-3 weeks, day and night. All I could do is quote Scriptures like Eph. 6:13-18, particularly holding the shield of faith, that quenches all of the fiery darts of the enemy. There were no ‘voices’ or ‘tho’ts’ just the abject paralyzing fear of being all alone, (probably what hell will be like. “they will suffer the penalty of eternal destruction, separated from the presence of the Lord and the glory of His might,” 2 Thess. 1:9 No prayer from others made any difference. Having gone thro’ similar ‘attacks’ in the past, (similar, as in harassment, not similar as in utter fear in separation from existence,) I knew the end would come eventually, and yes, eventually it lifted, never to return.

    Understanding attacks may come and recognizing them, knowing that nothing changes Who God is, nothing changes the truth we have been established in, we stand fast, having done all we stand. Eph. 6:13 “Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. 14 Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and shaving put on the breastplate of righteousness,15 and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. 16 In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; 17 and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, 18 praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication.”
    Thank you Tricia for sharing that valuable insight, for victory! God bless.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you too, for sharing that. It’s very useful. I am so glad the Lord preserved, helped and healed you!!! I think the penalty for the lost – “separated from the presence of the Lord and the glory of His might” is about the worst thing I can imagine.

      Liked by 1 person

    • You put it so well too dear Brother. And feeling your the last person on Earth – then at the 59th minute of the 11th hour, The Lord sends an encourager when it feels like all your friends have deserted you – and you realise it’s all part of The Sifting…


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